Worship While It’s Warm

In my last post, I indicated that I would be walking through my testimony as contemplate the subject of perseverance, about how God will not give up on those who are genuinely His.

Here is an excerpt of my conversion essay from my DTS application:

I was raised a catholic until my mother passed away in 1973, when I was 9 years old. After that I lived with my dad, who was involved with a missionary Baptist church. I sang in the youth choir and participated in youth events, it did not mean much to me. But even at a young age, I was a thinker and I began to ponder the purpose behind the weekly procession. In my junior year in high school I concluded that I did not need church to be a good person, and informed my father that I had no further interest in attending. He said “o.k.”

But that all changed shortly after I started college in fall 1982, when I met 2 christians. They did not talk to me about church…they told me about Jesus, about how I was dead in my sins and he was the only way to be connected to God. They invited me to a campus bible study and I checked it out. Immediately, I was struck by the joy and peace that the people there had, or seemed to anyway. It was clear to me that they had something I did not have. But I wanted it. So I went back the following week. To this day, I could not tell you what was said but I remember vividly how empty I felt. Soon after that second meeting, with the emptiness continually lingering, I dropped to my knees in my dorm room and told Jesus that I wanted him. That’s all I knew at the time. I was a changed person and told everyone I knew that Jesus died for their sins and they should accept him as Lord and Savior.

I said a prayer. Not through an altar call, which I think can create a false sense of security. But a genuine heart felt prayer that acknowledged I was a sinner and I needed Jesus and I wanted Him to come into my life.

I immediately began to read the bible, attend bible study, hang out with other christians and join a church. By all external accounts, it did appear that I was following Jesus.

The problem was that I also had a sinful pull in my heart, which juxtaposed with my new christian experience, created conflict, distraction and eventual departure. So here is what followed in the conversion essay.

I also knew that more than anything else, I wanted to be loved by a man. I wanted for someone to consider me special. While I strove to remain diligent and faithful to my Christian walk, my thirst for a human relationship began to vie with my thirst for my spiritual one. My need to be loved, slowly turned into a quest for marriage or any means of love I could obtain although what I settled for were poor substitutes. James 1:14,15 says “but each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust, and when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death”. By the spring of 1986, my “own lust” won out and I fell out of fellowship with God. Greener pastures were out there and I was determined to find them.

That same year I got married for all the wrong reasons and began to live a lifestyle that was completely opposed to everything I professed as a Christ follower.  It was as though I had never made a profession of faith.  I basically wanted to do my own thing at that point.  My pleasure and desires were paramount and I no longer cared about what the bible said.

My journey continues next time